Tag Archives: Be the Mentor

Meet Joyce Wenger

Today’s Member Spotlight features Joyce Wenger, an energetic and enthusiastic champion of the administrative support professions.  She currently works as Office Overhead Program and Administrative Manager for Arcadis, a Netherlands-based global engineering firm with offices all across the United States. Joyce is always on the lookout for ways to help her team of admins excel.

Joyce Wenger, Office Overhead Program & Administrative Manager
Arcadis, Raleigh, NC

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joyce-wenger/
Experience: 11+ Years in Administrative Support
Greatest Professional Strength:
People & Team Building. High Intuitive Nature, MBTI ENFP.
StrengthsFinder: Futuristic, Strategic, Restorative, Individualization and Ideation.
Current Professional Priority:
I love people and ideas. I can see potential in others, sometimes before they see it themselves. I love building teams to accomplish tasks that seem impossible but together as a team – organize, set the plan and let’s get it done!
Interested In: Peer Mentoring, Be A Coaching Mentor, Lead a Mastermind, Local Networking
Meeting Preferences: Face to Face, Online or Teleconference, Industry Events
Location: Raleigh, NC, United States of America

Where I’m From

Would love to connect with other local professionals.  I travel across the states, but mainly New York, Chicago, Atlanta, Denver.  I am originally from the Hudson Valley, NY and love going back to visit!

I have had a long time in the administrative field and I think that it was a natural fit for me, since my Mom was also very administrative as well.  (Is there such thing as the administrative gene?  Maybe so!)  I had many different jobs before starting my career in administration: McDonalds, a local delicatessen, retail and banking.  I’ve worked for non-profit, small business, R&D firms and IBM, as well.

In the administrative field, I started out as a receptionist; have been a secretary, executive assistant and an office administrator.

Where I’m At

I am now an Administrative Manager for Arcadis (a global engineering consulting firm) managing approximately 70 staff nationally.  I enjoy what I do and have an insatiable quest for knowledge, learning and connecting with people  – which I think is part of what has brought me to where I am currently on my life journey.  (Everyone has their own interesting life story!)

Where I’m Headed

I found Tara on LinkedIn through reading an article.  I reached out by messaging her and asking her to connect.  I am excited about her mission/vision.  What I hope to find here are ways to synergize with Tara (and others globally) on ways to grow & help bring about the realization of the greater mission of Mentors & Masterminds.

What I’m Most Passionate About

I’m most passionate about helping others live out / become all that they are made to be – living their authentic selves (with their unique talents/strengths) and helping them to connect with others to make their impact & difference in the world.

If you enjoyed learning about Joyce from this article, be sure to drop by her profile page HERE and leave her a message. (If you are a current or former administrative professional and would like to join our community and connect with Joyce, click HERE to register!)


Member Spotlight is a series of articles featuring the talents and accomplishments of our members at MentorsandMasterminds.com. Member Spotlight is published here on our blog on the second Wednesday of every month.

  • To be considered for a future Member Spotlight feature, members must complete their full member profile using the profile edit page. 
    • Members will be contacted for approval prior to being featured in Member Spotlight.
    • Members with incomplete profiles will not be considered for this feature.
  • Members who prefer not to be featured can  also select the “Please do NOT feature me in Member Spotlight” in the “MEMBER SPOTLIGHT” section at the bottom of the profile edit page. 
  • To access your profile edit page, cursor over your profile name at the upper right corner of any page on the site, then select “Profile” and “Edit” from the dropdown menus that appear. Be sure to save changes before closing out.

How Weaknesses Make us Better Mentors

One of the most surprising things about being a mentor is that it turns our weaknesses into strengths. It’s not that our weaknesses are magically transformed simply by donning the mantle of “mentor”, but rather that our struggles become our areas of expertise. In addition, the teaching process itself embeds the lessons more deeply within us, often leading to new insights and allowing us to further refine our own work as a result. In the words of Yogi Bhajan, “If you want to master something, teach it.”

The reasons our weaknesses serve us so well in mentoring others are two-fold. First, the struggle itself breaks down barriers and establishes a common ground with our protege. Second, the struggle to learn forces us to articulate knowledge in a way that being gifted does not.

Establish a Common Ground

In her TED Talk “On Being Wrong”, self-styled wrongologist Kathryn Schultz says, “Most of us do everything we can to avoid thinking about being wrong, or at least to avoid thinking about the possibility that we ourselves are wrong.” Our need to “be right”, she proposes, robs us of tremendous creative, intellectual and moral potential. Certainly the fear of being wrong and its corollary, the insistence on being right, rob us of many opportunities for meaningful connection. We may feel safer on our “Pedestal of Rightness”, but it comes at the cost of remaining remote.

As parents, we often see our teaching discussions with our children as very black and white, wrong and right. Being more experienced in the harsh realities of life, we can try to drill lessons into them by sheer force of will. It is, however, when we admit to having the same struggles that they begin to open up to us, and become open to our guidance.

In the cartoon above, for example, ”Mister Man” is teaching a very important lesson to his son, but the lesson backfires when it starts a mental feedback loop in which the boy sees no way to succeed. Mister Man has provided the “what” without providing the “how”. Mom breaks the mental loop by admitting she shares the trait of forgetfulness; moreover, she is a credible teacher because she’s learned ways of coping with forgetfulness. Mom embodies the possibility that things can get better.

When we as mentors share our struggles with our proteges, we do the same for them. We step down off of the pedestal of perfection and ask them to see us in a new light, right there with them struggling with the very same problems. We can show them the path, instead of shouting at them from a high distance.

Embrace the Struggle to Learn

In the cartoon scenario, the breakdown of Mister Man’s lesson comes because he provides the what without explaining the how. This leads us to the second benefit of getting comfortable with our weaknesses: the struggle to learn forces us to articulate knowledge in a way that being gifted does not. As a reasonably gifted painter, I have rarely been challenged to articulate my technique: I just ”get in the zone” and “let it happen”. When I am asked to explain what I do and how I do it, I sense there is often no expectation that I will communicate something my listener can imitate; rather, I am explaining the mysteries of something “other” and “special”. Since I am guided by intuition rather than discipline, I often find myself at a loss for words.

Not so with my maestra Shiloh Sophia. For Shiloh, the process of earning her skill as a painter impressed upon her a clear knowledge of what she does and why. She articulated her knowledge as part of the process of acquiring it, and as a result she can teach what she discovered to others who face the same struggle.

When she was younger, “experts” told Shiloh that she had no talent as a painter; she enrolled in art school, then dropped out and eventually settled for a corporate job. Shiloh’s calling was to create art, however, and it would not be denied. When she finally found her style, it came in the form of a simple visual language, combined with layering and design techniques that were extremely teachable. Ultimately, Shiloh not only developed an extremely successful career as a fine artist, but founded the Color of Woman school of painting and established the Intentional Creativity Foundation and Power Creatives TV to help others learn to become creators in their own right. Today she is a mentor to thousands of women who, like her, had been told they “have no talent”.

While most of us will not go on to create an entire teaching methodology or business from our struggles, we can still learn to use our weaknesses as an asset in our mentoring. When in doubt, as yourself this question: would I rather be right or helpful? In truth, it’s not an either/or proposition, but a question of starting with the right priority. If you start with the desire to be helpful, you will find the way to the “right” place for yourself and your protege. Your heart can show you how to be both.

#BeTheMentor


REFERENCES

“If you want to master something, teach it.” Yogi Bhajan https://www.harisingh.com/newsYogiBhajan.htm

“On Being Wrong”, TED Talk by Kathryn Schultz https://www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong#t-132401 


About This Series

“Be the Mentor” is a series in which I explore the joys and benefits of stepping up to be a mentor, and offer my insights on how to do it well. “Where Do Mentors Come From?” is the first article in this series.

Be the Mentor is published on the first Wednesday of every month at www.mentorsandmasterminds.com.

The Map and Milestones of the Hero’s Journey

The wonder is that the characteristic efficacy to touch and inspire deep creative centers dwells in the smallest nursery fairy tale – as the flavor of the ocean is contained in the droplet, or the whole mystery of life within the egg of a flea. For the symbols of mythology are not manufactured; they cannot be ordered, invented or permanently suppressed. They are spontaneous products of the psyche, and each bears within it, undamaged, the germ power of its source.

Joseph Campbell, The Hero With a Thousand Faces 

Where do mentors come from? One answer is that mentors are those who choose to share the treasures won on their own Hero’s Journeys. To become better mentors, then, we can use the Hero’s Journey as a lens through which to reexamine our own life journeys for gems of experience which we can share. To do so, we must begin by understanding the map.

The journey itself is a deceptively simple pattern, starting with a crisis, followed by a departure from home, a transformation of character, and a homecoming. However, as the opening quote of this article implies, the journey “bears within it, undamaged, the germ power of its source.” By reframing our stories in the context of the Hero’s Journey, we not only lay claim to the talismans of Universal Truth that lie within them, but connect to the power behind that truth2. Like the Sankofa Bird of West African legend3, let us see if we can learn to use this map, retrace our steps, and seek out the treasures that have been left behind.

Stages of the Journey

In the “4-Act Story Diamond” Hero’s Journey model used for this series of articles, the hero’s journey of transformation is accomplished in four distinct stages4:

  1. Preparation
  2. Separation
  3. Initiation
  4. Return

Within this framework, each leg of the journey is a kind of miniature hero’s journey of its own, characterized by a heroic archetype that informs the hero’s choices and ultimately transforms into the hero of the journey’s next phase:

  1. Preparation: The Orphan-Hero
    • A great crisis (dragon) drives the hero from his home.
    • Characterized by risk-aversion, powerlessness, and a dependence on others, the Orphan-Hero flees from the dragon, and is reborn as “the Wanderer”.
  2. Separation: The Wanderer-Hero
    • Having left home and the familiar behind, the hero voyages in search in search of a way to defeat the dragon.
    • Characterized by the search for individuation and personal power, the Wanderer-Hero rapidly develops adaptability, resilience and self-confidence; when he confronts the dragon, he gives chase and is reborn as “the Warrior”.
  3. Initiation: The Warrior-Hero
    • With growing confidence in his Ego identity and power, the hero now approaches the the dragon’s cave, where treasure and victory await.
    • The Warrior-Hero finds the tables turned as he must submit to the dragon and be reborn as “the Martyr”.
  4. Return: The Martyr-Hero
    • The hero must now grow beyond personal power to forge or claim his TALISMAN and prevail against the dragon; transcending his ego, the Martyr-Hero journeys back home as a very different person that the Orphan who set out.
    • The Martyr-Hero confronts the dragon for a fourth and final time. Through the transcendence of his ego and re-engagement with his role in community, he integrates the dragon’s power within himself and is reborn as the Magician.

The journey in its entirety yields a valuable lesson or Talisman which the Hero can use for the benefit of himself and his community, but so too does each leg of the journey. Indeed, even within each leg of the journey are smaller moments of choice and change that ‘bear within them the germ power of the source,’ and reflect the recurring pattern of of crisis, change and transformation . When we use this tool as a lens to review the great challenges of our past, we can recover many treasures indeed from each story we take the time to explore. By collecting these talismans, we build a rich store of treasures “where neither moth nor rust consume”, from which we enrich both ourselves and, if we so choose, our communities as well.


QUESTION: What experiences have you had in your life which, in retrospect, could be described as following the pattern of the Hero’s Journey? Which archetype resonates most with you at this moment in time?

CO-MENTORING CHALLENGE: Choose a problem you are facing right now and pick the archetype that most closely describes how you are responding to that challenge. Explore together ways that you can move past that challenge and move toward integration and claiming of your power in this situation, including the personal growth you may need to experience along the way. Commit to one concrete action you can take in this direction between now and your next co-mentoring session and report back on results when you meet again.


Endnotes

  1. Campbell, Joseph, The Hero With a Thousand Faces, pp. 1 – 2.
  2. Baron-Reid, Collette, The Map: Finding the Magic and Meaning in the Story of Your Life, pp. 111 – 112.
  3. I first learned of the Sankofa Legend from Dr. Frank Robinson, who used this motif as a key theme in his 2015 Martin Luther King Day speech at Baystate Medical Center in Springfield, MA. See also: Wikipedia, “Sankofa” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sankofa.
  4. Ferguson, Andrew, The Four-Act Story Diamond. http://rageagainstthepage.blogspot.com/2006/01/4-act-story-diamond.html

For another excellent overview of the Hero’s Journey (and a terrific “Recommended Reading” list), see Nina Munteau’s 2-part article on the subject at blogspot:


Beyond the Hero’s Journey is a series that explores elements of Joseph Campbell’s classic Hero’s Journey as way to reclaim the power our professional “stories” for personal growth, and to bring the “Elixir” of our triumphs to benefit others by moving beyond the Hero archetype to become mentors in our own right.
Beyond the Hero’s Journey is published on the 3rd Wednesday of every month at www.mentorsandmasterminds.com.

Meet Jomarie Ramirez

Today’s Member Spotlight features Jomarie Ramirez, a bilingual staff assistant whom I met in 2014 through our mutual membership in Baystate Toastmasters. Shortly after our club was chartered, she accepted the challenge of serving as Club President when our first club president had to step down from the role. Since then, Jomarie has continued to invest in developing her communication and leadership skills.

If you should ever find yourself in Springfield, MA on Three Kings Day, be sure to check out the annual celebration she organizes! You might also want to ask her about the world’s longest holiday…

Jomarie Ramirez, Staff Assistant

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jomarie-ramirez-m-s-cim-chi™-1396a317
Experience: 11+ Years in Administrative Support
Greatest Professional Strengths: Multi-tasking, ability to work with different groups, cultures, personalities of people, creativity.
Current Professional Priorities: Career change and growth. Opportunity to put my degree to use.
Interested In: Peer Mentoring, Find A Coaching Mentor, Join a Mastermind.
Meeting Preferences: Face to Face, Online or Teleconference, Industry Events.
Location: Springfield, MA, United States of America

Where I’m From

I was born and raised in Puerto Rico, and lived there until graduating from the University of Puerto Rico with a BBA in Office Systems Administration. I worked for a food company until I moved to Massachusetts. I am fully bilingual in Spanish and English, and in 2016 I became a Certified Healthcare Interpreter with CCHI.

Since moving to Massachusetts, I have worked in the manufacturing industry (Dielectrics, Inc.) and healthcare services (Habit OPCO, Baystate ADS Sloan Clinic). I currently work for Baystate Brightwood Health Center as a Staff Assistant, and in this role I wear many hats, including: project coordinator, payroll processor, schedule manager, and general office administrator.

Where I’m At

I am currently seeking career growth in a position where I can contribute my knowledge, educational background, and experiences, both professionally and culturally. What brought me to Mentors and Masterminds is the desire to connect with a mentor who can help me make the transition to a new field and working in a new environment/state.

I am a very creative person, and I would especially like to start working in a career where I can combine my knowledge in office administration and my creativity.

Where I’m Headed

My goal is to have a career where I could combine many of the things that I’m passionate about: helping others, sharing knowledge, continuous learning, travel, creativity, culture, photography and food. My dream job would be with The Travel Channel, or a job related to culture, traveling, sharing information about situations around the world.

What I’m Most Passionate About

I’m passionate about my culture. I’m extremely proud to be a Puerto Rican woman and I love sharing information about our history and culture. My current hobbies are photography and making glass lamps from wine bottles. I enjoy re-purposing items that otherwise would end up in the trash.


If you are a member of Mentors and Masterminds, be sure to drop by Jomarie’s profile page HERE and leave her a message. If you are a current or former administrative professional and would like to join our community and connect with Jomarie, click HERE to register!

Member Spotlight is a series of articles featuring the talents and accomplishments of our members at MentorsandMasterminds.com. Member Spotlight is published here on our blog on the second Wednesday of every month.

  • To be considered for a future Member Spotlight feature, members must complete their full member profile using the profile edit page. Members will be contacted for approval prior to being featured in Member Spotlight, and members with incomplete profiles will not be considered for this feature.
  • Members who prefer not to be featured can also select the “Please do NOT feature me in Member Spotlight” in the “MEMBER SPOTLIGHT” section at the bottom of the profile edit page. To access your profile edit page, cursor over your profile name at the upper right corner of any page on the site, then select “Profile” and “Edit” from the dropdown menus that appear. Be sure to save changes before closing out.

Where Do Mentors Come From? (Part 1 of 2)

When I launched Mentors and Masterminds, my goal was to answer to a common question among administrative professionals: “Where can I find a mentor?” I imagined myself as the behind-the-scenes administrator of an organically thriving community where current and former administrative professionals hooked up for mentoring “dates” and ultimately found “true love” in the form of long-term mentoring relationships: a career-oriented Match.com[1], if you will. I hoped, too, that community members – particularly those more knowledgeable than I – might be inspired to share their own stories, thereby creating a self-sustaining learning community. Like the Field of Dreams, I believed that if I built it, the community would come.

When I was first planning the site, I consulted my Toastmasters colleague, website builder and marketing guru Heather Turner, DTM for suggestions on how to build the site.  I got my first whiff of trouble when she described her own experience as a member of a similar site for small business startups: “The problem I’ve noticed,” she said, “is that everyone wants to have a mentor, but no one wants to be a mentor. When I was a mentor on the site, I was deluged with requests, because there were on average 1 mentor for every 150 mentees who wanted help.”

To answer the question “Where can I find a mentor?”, I would have to answer another question first: “Where do mentors come from? “That should be easy enough to solve,” I thought, “I’ll just create a category called ‘co-mentoring’ and encourage everyone to participate, giving us roughly equal numbers of mentors and mentees.”

After the launch in October 2016, it quickly became clear that, if I wanted my new site to mature into the community I had envisioned, there was a need to do more: to not only encourage members to step up as mentors to each other, but also to show them how. This kind of thought leadership was hardly what I’d signed up for. I just wanted to be the “techie-behind-the-scenes”. Who was I to offer myself as an authority on mentoring?! As I began to wrestle with this question, I was paralyzed by Impostor Syndrome[2]. The terror was not unlike that which I experienced when, nearly 18 years ago, I was a brand-new mom faced with the care of a healthy but helpless newborn boy: what have I gotten myself into?!

On the other hand, there was also a promise implicit in the launch of my site, and I wasn’t about to leave that promise unfulfilled. To help grow the community, I needed to become a mentor’s mentor. Having identified the problem, I knew I could tackle it. After all, I’ve survived eighteen years of motherhood…and I’ve done a damn fine job of it, if I do say so myself. In fact, parenting taught me more than a few good mentoring lessons along the way, lessons like:

  • You don’t need to have all the answers to be a mentor.
  • In mentoring, your greatest weaknesses become invaluable assets.
  • You can’t mentor everyone, and that’s okay.

The other thing that keeps me going is this: I deeply believe that everyone has creative potential, and that there is no more important work than encouraging the development of that potential.  As Albert Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”[3]  Rather, we must challenge ourselves and others to thinking and doing things in new ways.  There is no more powerful tool in this endeavor that the personal encouragement of a mentor…and a friend.

Someone needs the gifts that only you have to offer, so join me as I explore the joys, rewards and methods of becoming a mentor.


 “Be the Mentor” is a series in which I explore the joys and benefits of stepping up to be a mentor, and offer my insights on how to do it well. “Where Do Mentors Come From?” is the first article in this series.

Be the Mentor is published on the first Wednesday of every month at www.mentorsandmasterminds.com


FOOTNOTES

[1] My personal inspiration was actually a less-known dating site, lavalife.com. Met my S.O. there in July 2004 and 14 years later we are still going strong! It’s less about the how and where you meet, and more about the time you invest into finding a good match and creating a great relationship.

[2] Wikipedia defines impostor syndrome as “an inability to internalize…accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud’.” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome)

[3] Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alberteins121993.html